Looking back over the last several years since my first pregnancy, I can scarcely remember sleeping through the night without waking up to use the restroom. On a recent night my bladder beckoned. My baby was just under 3-months-old and still sleeping in my arms and in my bed at night. With her head burrowed right below my chin, our breathing synchronized, and our body heat radiating back and forth, it’s no surprise she’d wake, almost instantly, when I would attempt to pry myself away from her. Leaving her all alone.
By the time I took even just a few steps toward the bathroom, she would inevitably be crying. I’d beg my bladder to speed up the process so as to not pointlessly wake anyone else in the house. In the meanwhile, my brain would unavoidably jolt to life alongside the 
screaming in the bedroom… the norm was a million and one mom-thoughts instantaneously jostling around in my head. “Have I taken the meat out of the freezer for dinner? Is it trash day? Did I sign my daughter’s school conduct report? Are the girls’ gymnastics uniforms washed for class tomorrow? Do I have gas in the car? Will I ever…ever…get a full night’s sleep again?” Multi-tasking at it’s finest!
Yet on this particular night there was only one thought that came to mind when the stillness of the night met the piercing cries of my baby. The thought was simple and glaringly obvious. This little, precious baby is crying for me. Crying for ME! At this moment in her life, I am her EVERYTHING! She needs me, and she is physically uncomfortable when I am not beside her!”
Having returned to full cognition by this point, my brain continued to explore this realization. This seemingly uncomplicated thought began to deeply impact my heart…
I am a daughter to the Most Holy. The King of all kings. The Creator of the universe. Do I cry out for Him? When I am not close to His tender and loving arms do I get physically agitated? When my breath is not in synch with His, am I as uncomfortable as my baby is without mine?
It is these simple moments as a mom that get me every, single time. As my sweet, innocent child lay there crying out for me with such fierce intensity, she challenged me to look inward and showed me what my desperation for Jesus should look like.
I hope this story resonates with you as well. As we all start afresh this New Year, where will we find our rest? Let’s face it, we all need it. In fact, if you are anything like me, you are constantly looking for it. An uninterrupted hot shower. A car ride with no tears. An early morning cup of coffee before hearing any footsteps throughout the house. We are all tired. We are all weary. Some of us might even feel ready to throw in the towel, but be encouraged…
In Psalms 62:1-2, David proclaims, “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” When David wrote this, men were plotting against him, trying to kill him. Hmmm, [little] people, plotting against us? Not such a far stretch, right? We have all felt under attack by a toddler or two or three…Your son running at max capacity into your arms and somehow what should be a beautiful, Hallmark moment turns ugly when his head meets your nose. OUCH! Or your daughter eating her dinner so nicely until she turns on you and points a heaping spoonful of spaghetti directly at your face and….FLING!, Under attack, yes! Or as I like to call it, “Under Refinement”, but at least no one is threatening our lives. If David could find rest in his dire situation, so can we! Our Father never leaves us alone to cry.
So this year, when chaos ensues (and it will ensue), may we look to His open arms. When the unexpected occurs, may we fall at His feet. When sickness strikes, may we find stillness in His breath. When we feel hopeless, may we securely rest in the hope that only He can provide. Jesus said, “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” [Matthew 11:28]. As much as I’d love a full night sleep again, I know it could never provide the same depth as the rest available to me, and to you, in Jesus!
Author: Erin Reed
Erin Reed, wife of 11 years to Corey, went into “early retirement” from Chemical Engineering after becoming a mom, nearly 8 years ago. Now mother to three beautiful (and talkative) daughters, she spends much of her day trying to find humor in the chaos, truths about her Lord and Savior in the every day moments, and FUN in reliving life through the eyes of her girls. Questions or comments? Shoot her a note at erin.leigh.reed@gmail.com
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