Looking back over the last several years since my first pregnancy, I can scarcely remember sleeping through the night without waking up to use the restroom. On a recent night my bladder beckoned. My baby was just under 3-months-old and still sleeping in my arms and in my bed at night. With her head burrowed right below my chin, our breathing synchronized, and our body heat radiating back and forth, it’s no surprise she’d wake, almost instantly, when I would attempt to pry myself away from her. Leaving her all alone.
By the time I took even just a few steps toward the bathroom, she would inevitably be crying. I’d beg my bladder to speed up the process so as to not pointlessly wake anyone else in the house. In the meanwhile, my brain would unavoidably jolt to life alongside the screaming in the bedroom… the norm was a million and one mom-thoughts instantaneously jostling around in my head. “Have I taken the meat out of the freezer for dinner? Is it trash day? Did I sign my daughter’s school conduct report? Are the girls’ gymnastics uniforms washed for class tomorrow? Do I have gas in the car? Will I ever…ever…get a full night’s sleep again?” Multi-tasking at it’s finest!
Yet on this particular night there was only one thought that came to mind when the stillness of the night met the piercing cries of my baby. The thought was simple and glaringly obvious. This little, precious baby is crying for me. Crying for ME! At this moment in her life, I am her EVERYTHING! She needs me, and she is physically uncomfortable when I am not beside her!”
Having returned to full cognition by this point, my brain continued to explore this realization. This seemingly uncomplicated thought began to deeply impact my heart…
I am a daughter to the Most Holy. The King of all kings. The Creator of the universe. Do I cry out for Him? When I am not close to His tender and loving arms do I get physically agitated? When my breath is not in synch with His, am I as uncomfortable as my baby is without mine?
It is these simple moments as a mom that get me every, single time. As my sweet, innocent child lay there crying out for me with such fierce intensity, she challenged me to look inward and showed me what my desperation for Jesus should look like.
I hope this story resonates with you as well. As we all start afresh this New Year, where will we find our rest? Let’s face it, we all need it. In fact, if you are anything like me, you are constantly looking for it. An uninterrupted hot shower. A car ride with no tears. An early morning cup of coffee before hearing any footsteps throughout the house. We are all tired. We are all weary. Some of us might even feel ready to throw in the towel, but be encouraged…
In Psalms 62:1-2, David proclaims, “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” When David wrote this, men were plotting against him, trying to kill him. Hmmm, [little] people, plotting against us? Not such a far stretch, right? We have all felt under attack by a toddler or two or three…Your son running at max capacity into your arms and somehow what should be a beautiful, Hallmark moment turns ugly when his head meets your nose. OUCH! Or your daughter eating her dinner so nicely until she turns on you and points a heaping spoonful of spaghetti directly at your face and….FLING!, Under attack, yes! Or as I like to call it, “Under Refinement”, but at least no one is threatening our lives. If David could find rest in his dire situation, so can we! Our Father never leaves us alone to cry.
So this year, when chaos ensues (and it will ensue), may we look to His open arms. When the unexpected occurs, may we fall at His feet. When sickness strikes, may we find stillness in His breath. When we feel hopeless, may we securely rest in the hope that only He can provide. Jesus said, “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” [Matthew 11:28]. As much as I’d love a full night sleep again, I know it could never provide the same depth as the rest available to me, and to you, in Jesus!
I am the perfect parent. Well, that sounds so presumptuous, doesn’t it? It’s hard for me to swallow too. But it’s true. Maybe it would help if I told you how I define perfect. The word perfect found in the book of Philippians also translates complete and mature.
You see my identity is not based on my behavior but in my personhood as a child of God. God has made me complete. God has made me mature. God has made me perfect. Whether I choose to behave like who I am or not doesn’t change the truth about me.
God has also made me a parent. He has made me perfect and a parent. He has picked specific kids for me to parent. For these kids, I am the perfect parent. Most of the time, I do not FEEL like the perfect parent for these kids. Most the time, I feel like I should be saving money for their weddings, college education, and all the counseling they will need because of how much I am screwing them up.
BUT the truth is despite how I feel and even how I act at times, God has made me perfect in Him.
Let’s break this down…
In the book of Philippians, Paul has this awkward little section where he says, “Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 3:12) then he continues… Let us, therefore, as many as are perfect, have this attitude; and if in anything you have a different attitude, God will reveal that also to you.” (Phil. 3:15)
Huh? He calls us imperfect and perfect within a few statements! Here is his point: live like who you are: parent out of our perfectness. If our attitudes/ feelings/ actions don’t line up with this truth God will reveal that.
Here is a question I have been asking myself a lot lately… so how do I parent perfectly? I know lots of “parenting gurus”, I have
heard lots of great advice…but what do I want to live from … “what would ______ do?” or even “what would Jesus do”. NO! I want to parent from “Jesus, what would you have me do?”.
Jesus is Love. Jesus lives inside me and He has made me perfect. And you know what? If you have chosen Jesus as your Lord and Savior, He lives inside of you. He has made you perfect.
You are the perfect parent for your child. It’s not based on how you feel, or how you act. If God has entrusted a child to you, He has decided you are the perfect person for that child. If you are a parent and God lives inside you. You are a perfect parent. Now, let’s enjoy Him and enjoy them.
Chaos, calm, or hiding —
Emotions. There, I’ve said the E word. We can’t live without them, and many times we don’t know how to live with them. As parents, when we don’t know—we can’t help our children.
I wrote these words on Facebook recently; it was one of my most shared posts—ever.
“Relationships that stay with us in our unpleasant emotions…and help us return to joy after we’ve processed all they offer…are
relationships that help us grow up.”
So many people commented on the post with something like, “Sometimes, this is so hard…”
It is. And when we struggle as parents, it is a gift from God—if we see the struggle as an invitation to model giving permission for others to speak into our lives and ask for help. If we demonstrate humility in safe relationships, our children can grow up trusting this mature way of relating, too.
We’ll get to have many conversations with our children about emotions during our season of parenthood. This blog post may help you have one of those conversations. Share this post with your family over dinner one night. Brave love starts the hard conversations and offers protection from shame.
Butterflies in your stomach –
There are few events quite like the first day of school. For weeks, you know it’s coming. You feel all the feels, and watch as your friends and family experience all the drama and delight that happens before the big day finally arrives.
The emotions that wash over you before the start of school can be the refreshing kind—like excitement, confidence, and eager anticipation. Or they can be the “I hope I just survive” kind —like dread, doubt, worry, and fear.
Perhaps “butterflies in your stomach” is a good description of this weird combination of all these emotions.
This is a true story about butterflies: They are fun to watch and beautiful to see—and they make poor line leaders. I’d never hand one of these fanciful, winged creatures the keys to my car! Butterflies go in circles and change directions without any warning. Their flight patterns look more like tangled yarn than purposeful pathways.
Butterflies are poor line leaders because they are not created to be line leaders. We can get confused if we follow them. Even if we don’t get lost, we will certainly make slow progress getting from where we are to where we are going—and we will definitely get very tired!
Emotions –
This is a true story about emotions: They are important. Emotions make life rich and powerfully real. They add value and depth to all of life’s experiences.
And emotions, like butterflies, make poor line leaders. Emotions are not created to be trustworthy taxi drivers for our travels through each day. They’re more often like hijackers than dependable guides.
Emotions are great passengers in the grand adventures of life—including the first day of school. Like your friends, you can greet them, name them, acknowledge them, wrestle with them, experience them fully—and then drop them off, until you meet them again to share a different experience.
Recognizing emotions as good passengers and bad drivers can be helpful as you navigate the beginning of a new school year. If you let emotions rule your life, they’ll tell you untrue stories —about yourself, about God, and about school.
Untrue stories –
When you make a good grade, you’re going to feel smart. When you don’t get picked for the team at recess—or if your friends ignore you, you may feel like you don’t belong. If the teacher tells you to move your clip or change your color—or if you make a bad grade, you can feel like a loser. If the teacher chooses you to be the line leader, you can feel like a winner!
Every feeling I just read to you could happen in just one day—even on the first day of school!
In less than a few hours, you may feel like a winner and a loser. You may feel smart and unworthy. The stories your emotions tell you can change in just a few seconds—as quickly as when your teacher says, “Put away the book you’re reading and get out your Math.”
The truth is, your identity never changes, even though your emotions often do. Because you have trusted the work of Jesus on the cross, you have an unchangeable identity. No matter how you feel about reading or math or being chosen or getting ignored, you are Christ in you— even on your very worst day. You always belong to God. That’s good news. And there’s more!
God’s identity never changes either. God is always love, and He is always loving you—when you feel worthy of His love, and when you don’t. God’s love is what heals your hurts and what gives you the strength to do with Him what you could never do on your own.
A true story about God and school –
God’s not grading your papers. He cares very much that you listen and work and learn; He knows that getting things right will help you, and getting things wrong will keep you confused about the way the world works. He’s more concerned about you missing out than messing up.
God doesn’t give you a bad grade when you mess up. Instead, He puts His arm around you— and offers to help. God’s hug sometimes gets delivered to you from mom or dad. You can experience His love when you let us help you with your struggles.
God doesn’t tell you to move your clip or change your color when you misbehave. God never punishes you when you struggle. Instead, God recognizes when you’ve let your emotions drive your decisions. He knows when you’ve let anger convince you to cut in line, or when you’ve let disappointment distract you from following directions.
God tells you the truth—about who He is, about who you are, and about school. He knows that when you trust Him, you’ll begin to let the truth of your identity sit in the driver’s seat of your decisions—instead of giving your emotions the keys to your behavior.
Your God-given identity will always tell you what is true, no matter what you feel. Values and convictions will grow out of your true identity—like branches grow out of the trunk of a tree. Values and convictions are the ideas you’ll grow up to believe are important in your relationships, and true about your character.
Humility –
So, welcome to a new school year, my daughter; my son. We’re going to take this adventure together. And I need your help, too.
Sometimes I let my emotions sit in the driver’s seat of my day. I let anger tell me what to say; I let frustration tell me how loud to say it. Some days I let feelings of being afraid to convince me to make choices I later wish I hadn’t made.
You have permission to respectfully remind me that emotions are more like hijackers than good line leaders. Here’s what you can lovingly say, “Mom/Dad—did you just hand your keys to a butterfly?”
This school year, can I remind you, too?
I love you, my son. I love you, my daughter.
I am so honored that you are mine.
Together, there is great hope.
We are in full fledge summer mode and in this season with littles that very much involves swim lessons. My oldest, Benjamin, will be 6 this fall and is very much capable of swimming, contrary to his belief. I have witnessed said swimming before. He has been lovingly referred to in our home as the Safety Steve of the family (he legit asked me to be quiet on the zoo train so we could all hear the safety rules a couple weeks back). In a house full of boys, I am appreciative one is doing his part to keep ER bills to a minimum. Despite Benjamin being capable of swimming, there is this little (BIG) thing called fear that keeps him observing from the sidelines instead of enjoying the freedom of his ability. This week on the way to his first swim lesson of the year, his thoughts, feelings, and questions were all over the map. “Will they let me drown? What if I swallow water? I’m going to jump off the diving board! Mom how do you know this will work? Mom, for real, do I have to do this?” I answered his concerns, reassured him of his capability, asked him to trust me and his instructor, told him he was strong and courageous, and may or may not have offered a reward in the form of a new toy for conquering his swimming fear.
Of course, I want Benjamin to be safe in the water. But just as much as I want him to be safe, I desire him to be free! To experience the freedom and fun of playing in a pool with his friends. To not be held captive by the fear. Fear is a dark, lonely, and crappy companion where lies come to reside and hopes and dreams wither away. Freedom is where we express and experience the depth, richness, joy, exhilaration, and truth of life. The thoughts, feelings, and questions that Benjamin was firing off on our drive are very similar to my own thoughts, feelings, and questions that I ask God when I am afraid. Just as I will answer, guide, and encourage Benjamin each time he is facing a current fear, God does the same for you and me. I was so thankful Benjamin was letting me into all of that, just as I know God is thankful when we let Him in on our struggles. Our God is a living God and He is a powerful God. His love, power, and truth have risen and set the sun, parted the Red Sea, conquered Goliath with a boy and a stone, and broke down walls (literally and figuratively). Love, our God, conquers all fear (1 John 4:18). I know that just as much as I want my sweet Benjamin to experience freedom from his fear, I know God wants (and has already provided) the same for us. God desires for us to rest in His love, power, and truth in order to experience the fullness of the riches of His Glory (Ephesians 1:18). I encourage you to live life trusting in the truth of our powerful Creator and freely embrace the swim.
It was 9 am and the three year old and I were already locked in a battle of wills that shook the walls. Standing in the living room, arms full of baby dolls to the point that I could barely see her face, she stood her ground on bringing every single one with us to the gym. You can bring two, okay? Two babydolls. No more. No! I bring everybody. We’d been at it for 5 minutes, and I was over it. Luckily she couldn’t hold all 10 babies and walk, so she resigned, but not without crying and whining the entire walk to the car. Just get to the gym, I told myself. You’ll have an hour break from this crazy person, a chance to reset. She fought me the entire process of getting in her carseat, and when I got in the front seat, began screaming. Not about anything in particular, just screaming. At this point I should mention that I also have an eight month old, who is understandably not crazy about lots of yelling – so she’s upset now too.
I can’t think straight, so I get out of the car and close the door. It may sound a little inhumane, to leave the two of them crying in the vehicle, but it was that or start turning into the HulkMom. I walk a little down the driveway and just stop; that blank, glazed over look you see other moms wearing in Target while their kid throws stuff out of the buggy. I just start talking.
God, I’m so tired. I can’t remember the last time I had a break. Between these two wildlings in the car and trying to be a good wife and run a business and chase my own dreams and not let the house fall to pieces, I’m so tired. I’m not sure I can do it anymore. I’m fighting back tears at this point, allowing myself to drown in it all for a second
You can’t. It drifts through my mind like a falling leaf, and for a second I’m just downright offended. Um, I absolutely can. I absolutely can do it all, thank you very much. After a few moments my pride takes a chill pill, and it starts to dawn on me that I cannot, in fact, do all of these things. Not the way I’m trying to do them right now, at least. You see, I’ve forgotten to rest. Something that even God did. All of the crazy piles up in front of me and instead of resting in who I am in Christ, and what matters because of His truth, I set out to try to climb the mountain of my own sheer will power. And I end up here. Exhausted and frustrated and this close to losing my ever loving mind. Because I’m trying to do it myself. I will fail every single time this way. Every single time. Until I start letting the Lord lead me beside still waters as I raise two babies and chase my dreams, I will end up at the end of my driveway in tears over the crazy.
So I’m asking you to put it down. Whatever your banner of “I can do this on my own” looks like, will you just lay it down for me? You may not even realize you’re carrying this load, I so often forget that I don’t have to try to do all of this alone. And then all the sudden it hits me that I am simply not capable of keeping all the balls in the air at the same time without the loving, wonderful help of our sweet Savior. So take a deep breath, even if the house is being torn down around you as we speak. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and rest in Him and His truth. Let His goodness and peace rush in, because they’re right there – waiting. He is good, and He has good things for you. He wants to shoulder the things you’ve been carrying. Let Him be in it with you today.
I want to encourage you to ask your preteen/ teen (it can be while riding in the car, kicking the soccer ball, eating dinner – normal everyday activities) Do you know what holy means?
It means different, set apart. As children of God, this is what/ WHO we are. WE/YOU ARE HOLY!
Maybe share a time with your preteens/teens when you had to make a tough choice that showed you were set apart. Remind and encourage your child to live like who they are as God’s child! Holy and don’t forget never alone! Even when making hard choices and you feel like no one is on your side! God is and, as their parent, you are!
Does God really care? Of course, we know He cares about our salvation, but does he care about all the “little things”? Does he care that I bit my tongue while eating an apple this morning, or that I got cut off in traffic? Does he care that my kid is failing Spanish, or that I was ugly to my spouse?
With all the big things happening in the world today, does God really care about my little day to day trials? If we have these questions, doubts, and concerns, so do our kids.
Jesus knew this thought when he walked the earth and I wonder if he ever had the same thought?
In Luke 12:7, Jesus says, “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.” In other words, God cares so much about us, he knows how many hairs are on our heads at any one moment! He knows and cares about our big things and our small things.
Knowing (AND BELIEVING) God cares about us because we are His makes a difference in how we live our lives. Consider this question as a family. Ask your kids… what difference does it make to know that God cares?
We are in full fledge summer mode and in this season with littles that very much involves swim lessons. My oldest, Benjamin, will be 6 this fall and is very much capable of swimming, contrary to his belief. I have witnessed said swimming before. He has been lovingly referred to in our home as the Safety Steve of the family (he legit asked me to be quiet on the zoo train so we could all hear the safety rules a couple weeks back). In a house full of boys, I am appreciative one is doing his part to keep ER bills to a minimum. Despite Benjamin being capable of swimming, there is this little (BIG) thing called fear that keeps him observing from the sidelines instead of enjoying the freedom of his ability. This week on the way to his first swim lesson of the year, his thoughts, feelings, and questions were all over the map. “Will they let me drown? What if I swallow water? I’m going to jump off the diving board! Mom how do you know this will work? Mom, for real, do I have to do this?” I answered his concerns, reassured him of his capability, asked him to trust me and his instructor, told him he was strong and courageous, and may or may not have offered a reward in the form of a new toy for conquering his swimming fear.
Of course, I want Benjamin to be safe in the water. But just as much as I want him to be safe, I desire him to be free! To experience the freedom and fun of playing in a pool with his friends. To not be held captive by the fear. Fear is a dark, lonely, and crappy companion where lies come to reside and hopes and dreams wither away. Freedom is where we express and experience the depth, richness, joy, exhilaration, and truth of life. The thoughts, feelings, and questions that Benjamin was firing off on our drive are very similar to my own thoughts, feelings, and questions that I ask God when I am afraid. Just as I will answer, guide, and encourage Benjamin each time he is facing a current fear, God does the same for you and me. I was so thankful Benjamin was letting me into all of that, just as I know God is thankful when we let Him in on our struggles. Our God is a living God and He is a powerful God. His love, power, and truth have risen and set the sun, parted the Red Sea, conquered Goliath with a boy and a stone, and broke down walls (literally and figuratively). Love, our God, conquers all fear (1 John 4:18). I know that just as much as I want my sweet Benjamin to experience freedom from his fear, I know God wants (and has already provided) the same for us. God desires for us to rest in His love, power, and truth in order to experience the fullness of the riches of His Glory (Ephesians 1:18). I encourage you to live life trusting in the truth of our powerful Creator and freely embrace the swim. – Kyndal Jacoby, GLK Nursery Coordinator
What exactly is the New Covenant? What does it matter to my everyday life?
As a parent, I can often wonder these questions myself. Back in 2011, Pastor Frank did a 4 week series on the New Covenant. Whether you have been at GLF your whole life or have recently joined the family, you will enjoy this series on the New Covenant. May we all walk (and parent) out of the New! Enjoy listening to Pastor Frank share these truths…
Part 1: Born into Death CLICK HERE
Part 2: Born into Life CLICK HERE
Part 3: Grace is a Person CLICK HERE
Part 4: Jesus IS the Christian Life CLICK HERE
Who we are
We desire to walk alongside your family, to be a voice of encouragement and offer practical applications.
Whether you are a mother, father, step-parent, single parent, grand(parent), co-parent, foster parent, we hope you will find a sweet spot here.
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