Questions to ask our teens about sex…

The cartoon above is outdated…I know…but you get the point. Teenagers know more than we think they do and they are getting information from people and places that are NOT us.

Sometimes, talking with teens about sex can be awkward! The questions below are designed to be conversation starters with your child (ages 11-18). 

These don’t all need to be asked. They don’t all need to be asked in a particular order. Our hope is that these questions will help you begin a conversation with your teen.

BEFORE YOU ASK: Choose the time you throw one of these questions out wisely. You know your kid and when they are the most chatty. Do not act shock or surprise if/ when they share something (even if you feel that way). 

LISTEN! Respond – Do NOT react! Wait, for them to ask you what you think. 

ALWAYS let them know how grateful you are that they shared with you. 

Questions to ask your teen to begin the conversation about sex? 

(Not all BUT many of these questions are taken from The Grown Ups Guide to Teenage Humans by Josh Shipp)

• Besides physical attributes(cuteness, etc.) what other factors or characteriscs are important to you in someone you date right now? 
• When you think about your future husband or wife, what characteriscs do you want them to have?
• Sex is an aspect of some relationships.  What do you think about sex? 
• What is something that confuses you about sex? 
• What do you think are 2 main benefits of sex? 
• What do you think is the difference between healthy sex and unhealthy sex? 
• Where do you think most teenagers learn about sex? 
• Pornography is widely available today. Do you feel that this has a negative impact on your generation in general? Why or why not? 
• I know you love (insert movie), what makes you love it so much? 
• There is a lot of buzz around (insert famous person and what they said or did. EX: recent Super Bowl half time show?) What are your thoughts on that ?

This coming Sunday, I will have the opportunity to speak with our Middle School students at Grace Life about purity. Moreover, sexual purity and what does God say about it? I thought I would share with you a few of my notes for this Sunday. Some of this wording may help you when your teen is ready to hear your thoughts on questions mentioned above. 

• Purity is a gift from God and it cannot be taken away. 
• We are pure because God made us pure. 
• If we believe the 2 statements above, how does that affect our behavior? 
• If we believe the 2 statements above, why does it matter what we do with our hands? What our eyes look at? What words come out of our mouths? 

Author: Emily Soule

Family Ministries Director (emily@gracelifefellowship.org or 225.769.8844 ext.106.) Emily has been serving at GLF for the past 12 years: 5 of those years as the Youth Director and 3 as the Family Ministries Director. She has been married to her husband Scott for 13 years and they have three beautiful daughters. She likes to read, and find a good deal at TJ Maxx!